Freaking Christmas

What a horrible, horrible day . . . . Christmas Eve . . . eve. Fucking sucks a lot of donkey dicks if you ask me. Thankfully the media agrees with this sentiment, otherwise they would not published stories with these headlines:

"Year's disasters kill 300,000, cost $100 billion"

"153 Police Died in the Line of Duty"

"Double-mouthed fish pulled from Neb. lake"

Kudos to the dickless media for upping the dickitude and trying to bring a little less joy into the world during the holiday season.

The only redeeming value of this day is that it is officially Festivus. I love the fact that a holiday created by a sitcom that featured mean-spirited people is given some sort of official recognition. I have been unable to get my family to recognize the holiday, but pretty soon they are going to realize that I do know how to use a gun and that I did put bullets in the fucker.

And I have a bit more good news for your asses. Next week I will be posting every day and will be giving you shits my "Best of's." It's a time honored tradition that I have only done once and will be stopping in a few short days. Don't miss it.

- MPH