Going . . . Going . . . Going . . .
I could not think of anything more appropriate than my picture mysteriously changing from Mark Harmon to Angie Harmon on this the last post to grace the blog lovingly referred to as "Heightened Thoughts." You can look at it two ways, one that I am castrating myself by ending things now while I still have a small but loyal fanbase or two, that I must have started menstrating because only a woman would make such a rash decision.
I picked a hell of a day to go out. Politicians are facing their worst fear, a pussy ass rat with way too much inside information, cheerleaders are getting injured more and more, and the world is reminding that people are still stupid enough to still go into large holes that might collapse for ore. I almost feel compelled to make further snarky remarks about each, but then that would just take away from the focus of today's final post - good ole' MPH.
At this point you people should be giving me like my tenth time consuming standing ovation. Though I could do without Pops sobbing like a little bitch.
I think I will bow out by surprising you folks a bit . . . yep, I am going to be gracious. Much love to "The Band" for idolizing me for a little over a year. Sure I at one time or another kicked you all out, but you guys were a lot like my meth kids, too stupid to figure out how to open the door that would allow you to be free of me. Really people, I went on and on about robot alien hybrids . . . who the fuck sits through that?
I should also thank Jennifer Garner for not having me arrested. I would also like to thank Amy Acker for only pressing the taser trigger once. That was sweet. Mad props to Dubya and his cronies for making this whole venture worthwhile. Without them dumbfucks I would have only had a week worth of material.
Finally, I would like to thank myself. I am great, awesome, and whole heartedly kick ass. I can only hope that I have corrupted the rest of you and that you will continue on in my image - sort of like neo-Hilter youth.
Invoking Hitler, that's how all things should end.
I'm out.
- MPH
26 Comments:
.
If I could speak in any
language in heaven or
on earth but didn't love
others, I would only be
making meaningless noise
like a loud gong or a
clanging cymbal. If I
had the gift of prophecy,
and if I knew all the
mysteries of the future
and knew everything
about everything, but
didn't love others, what
good would I be? And
if I had the gift of faith
so that I could speak
to a mountain and make
it move, without love
I would be no good to
anybody. If I gave
everything I have to
the poor and even
sacrificed my body,
I could boast about it;
but if I didn't love others,
I would be of no value
whatsoever. Love is
patient and kind. Love
is not jealous or boastful
or proud or rude. Love
does not demand its
own way. Love is not
irritable, and it keeps
no record of when it
has been wronged.
It is never glad about
injustice but rejoices
whenever the truth
wins out. Love never
gives up, never loses
faith, is always hopeful,
and endures through
every circumstance.
May You Always
Experience This
Kind Of Love,
Dr. Howdy
It actually gets better, I clicked on his blog and it is all about Christianity and shit. That God is one funny motherfucker.
You invoke Hitler and this fucking howdy dancing alligator man leaves you a POEM? Jeezus H, what an ending. I will honestly miss your voice out here. Even the RAH made me laugh every time. Don't be a stranger, bitch.
Cell phones and keys, people, cell phones and keys.
Don't feel bad about quitting. I know how it can be: Your grades start slipping and your parents get a note saying you might lose your eligibility to be in the marching band. Then one evening your language at the dinner table gets a little rough and the next thing you know Mom has moved your computer to the family room and is monitoring your use. If you keep up the blogging, you realize the feces could hit the ventilation system any day, and things could really get ugly. Given the choice, I'd blow off the blog, too.
Still, I'm sorry to see you go. I truly enjoyed the inspired lunatic ravings, the outrageous typos and your Damn the spellcheck - full speed ahead! attitude. Plus, every now and then you showed us a little beauty and truth.
Thanks for that.
Must be something wrong with my computer. It still looks like Mark Harmon to me. So long. Farewell. Glad you're getting out one step ahead of the RAH.
Howdy inspires me to verse:
There is freedom within, there is freedom without
Try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
There's a battle ahead, many battles are lost
But you'll never see the end of the road
While you're traveling with me
Hey now, hey now
Don't dream it's over
Hey now, hey now
When the world comes in
They come, they come
To build a wall between us
We know they won't win
Now I'm towing my car, there's a hole in the roof
My possessions are causing me suspicion but there's no proof
In the paper today tales of war and of waste
But you turn right over to the T.V. page
Now I'm walking again to the beat of a drum
And I'm counting the steps to the door of your heart
Only shadows ahead barely clearing the roof
Get to know the feeling of liberation and relief
Hey now, hey now
Don't dream it's over
Hey now, hey now
When the world comes in
They come, they come
To build a wall between us
Don't ever let them win
Crowded House, bitches.
Aw fuck, I promised myself I wouldn't cry. But sometimes you just laugh so hard the tears come by themselves.
What can I say that is fitting? Nothing really. Except to remind you that I was the first commenter here ever (I think). You owe it all to me.
As a final thought on this whole experiment and our time in it, I can leave with only one definite conclusion:
I fucking win.
I didn't get to say this on Blog Jesus, so I'm saying it here: Did it hurt, when you finally lost your mind?
I'm keeping the sandwich.
I'll miss the tender moments we shared, the laughs, the lo--oh who the hell am I kidding?
I'm sorry to see you go, you snarky bastard. It's been fun. Don't stay gone for always.
Now who will break down the news into bite-size shit-chiclets?
Who will continue to remind me about celebrities that I don't care about?
It's like saying goodbye to a bad habit. I'll miss it, but in many ways I'm glad it's over.
Quitter.
Vaya Con Dios, Muchacho... Vaya Con Dios.
What, you're still here?
so, not only can i not pose silly questions and lay out equally silly double entendres over at the only vaguely religious site i've ever bothered to even glance at, but now i can't swing by here and leave a random comment every now and then just to grab your attention?
bummer.
in the event you decide to unleash your bare-chested wisdom upon the blogosphere again in the future, please tip me off, okay? i'll even bring the popcorn.
As predicted, your last post sucked the most.
why was i here?
fuck if i know...but i always wanted to be in a band...and be kicked out of one too.
every day checking on your absolute nonesense, because sometimes it made too much sense.
you make me feel good about myself.
because you are such a loser.
(yeah, i'll miss you and your moronic self)
wait a minute, here I was coming back after a long, long, long long time of not visiting your blog, only to find that Blog Jesus was no longer answering questions and clearing up confusion, as a matter of fact you're leaving the internet altogether?!
It can't be that simple. There must be a greater conspiracy behind this.
I was only ever here for the robot alien hybrids.
Well, now that he's gone, we can take over this comments section and start a little bloglet, kind of like we did when he'd go on his little "vacations." Wait a minute, William Shatner just passed a kidney stone, and MPH has one too--maybe MPH is Captain Kirk!
You still suck even though you don't blog anymore.
Actually, I think MPH ate Cap'n Kirk.
With a nice Chianti and some fava beans, of course.
And then what? Damn, I hate messy endings!
I don't know why I came here even though I know there aren't any more posts--I guess old habits die hard. I think I need better closure, a la junebugg. I think it may be be time to take this off my Blogroll. Wow, there isn't anything more final than that in the blogging world, is there? It's like an official divorce.
It's Feb 2, Steph and I came back too. Old habits, well, I mean the MPH habit is a bitch to break. Plus, I totally thought of MPH when W. mentioned "Animal/Human Hybrids" in that damned speech this week. Too funny.
We all know that he checks the comments every day ... and I can only hope that he isn't anywhere near a wide-mouthed jar of mayo.
You ARE gone, aren't you?
Gah, this is like the Phantom Blog Syndrome--I really gotta delete this off my blogroll...
((((((((Echo))))))))
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